I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
