a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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