i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize