If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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