zippers are such a cool invention
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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