mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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