I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
