Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
