i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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