I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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