I met the friendliest cop last night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
