I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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