I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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