Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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