he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
