a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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