let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
