There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
