You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
