I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
