Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
