Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
