So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
