just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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