so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
