There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
