look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
