I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
