Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
