just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
