Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize