I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You're like the curious george of whores
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
