butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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