I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
