I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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