Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
