i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
