okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
