bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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