I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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