i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
