She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
