coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
