Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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