My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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