Banned from zoo.
Again?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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