we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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