Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
