problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
