I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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