ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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