Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
