this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
