so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
