yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
